Everything is wrong with me
Friday, September 09, 2005
 
2005 nfl preview
Because it's Friday and the NFL season technically started last night, I'm going to make this quick. Here are my NFL predictions for the 2005 season, as well as for some games this weekend.

(And please note: there is no way I'm adding up all the win-loss records to make sure they are even. That is entirely too much work for a Friday afternoon.)

NFC East
Philadelphia Eagles 12-4
Dallas Cowboys 9-7
NY Giants 7-9
Washington Redskins 4-12

There's the Eagles, then there's the rest. I'm not buying the Parcells-Bledsoe reunion, and the Giants and Skins haven't improved enough to warrant any serious consideration.

NFC NORTH
Minnesota Vikings 11-5
Detroit Lions 9-7
Green Bay Packers 7-9
Chicago Bears 4-12

The Vikings are NOT better without Moss, but they manage 11 wins with an improved D. The Lions have a lot of potential, and I think either Joey Harrington busts out (to respectability) or Jeff Garcia is starting by week six. The Packer's D is terrible and I'm actually third on the QB depth chart for the Bears.

NFC SOUTH
Carolina Panthers 11-5
Atlanta Falcons 10-6
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 6-10
New Orleans Saints 5-11

Carolina is TOUGH. Vick, no matter how much of a "playmaker" or how "explosive" he is, continues to be a mediocre QB. I laugh as Gruden's Bucs flounder and the Saints have a long, tough year.

NFC WEST
St. Louis 10-6
Arizona 10-6
Seattle 8-8
San Francisco 3-13

The worst division in football. St. Louis takes it because, well, someone has to. Arizona vastly improves, Seattle is just "eh" and San Fran continues to suffer. Alex Smith will be regularly getting picked off by week five.

NFC TEAMS I COULD BE COMPLETELY WRONG ABOUT: New Orleans, Minnesota
NFC PLAYERS WHO CAN DRASTICALLY AFFECT THEIR TEAMS: Julius Jones, Kevin Jones, Steve Smith, Kurt Warner

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AFC EAST
New England Patriots 12-4
NY Jets 11-5
Buffalo Bills 8-8
Miami Dolphins 3-13

Same old situation. The Pats dominate, the Jets improve a bit, Buffalo show signs off life but Losman's learning curve is too steep, and what the fuck is going on in Miami?

AFC NORTH
Baltimore Ravens 11-5
Pittsburgh Steelers 11-5
Cincinnati Bengals 7-9
Cleveland Browns 4-12

Baltimore and Pittsburgh take turns beating the hell out of Cincy and Cleveland. I miss the days when the Browns were good.

AFC SOUTH
Indianapolis Colts 13-3
Jacksonville Jaguars 9-7
Tennessee Titans 8-8
Houston Texans 6-10

Indy scores a lot. Jacksonville stagnates. Tennessee scores a bit too, but not enough. I actually had to look up Houston's team name because I had a brain lapse. I can only name about four guys on Houston and I'm a huge football fan. That usually means your team isn't that great.

AFC WEST
Kansas City Chiefs 10-6
San Diego Chargers 9-7
Denver Broncos 9-7
Oakland Raiders 8-8

Four solid teams here and it wouldn't surprise me if any win the division. I'm thinking that Priest Holmes and Larry Johnson carry the Chiefs past the rest. But it really wouldn't surprise me if my picks were reversed.

AFC TEAMS I COULD BE COMPLETELY WRONG ABOUT: Miami, Cincy, Tennessee.
AFC PLAYERS WHO CAN DRASTICALLY AFFECT THEIR TEAMS: Ricky Williams, Carson Palmer, Travis Henry, Randy Moss

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PLAYOFFS

NFC
1) Philly
2) Minnesota
3) Carolina
4) St. Louis
5) Atlanta
6) Arizona

Wild Card
#3 Carolina over #6 Arizona
#5 Atlanta over #4 St. Louis

Semis
#1 Philly over #5 Atlanta
#3 Carolina over #2 Minnesota

NFC Championship
#1 Philly over #3 Carolina

AFC
1) Indy
2) New England
3) Baltimore
4) KC
5) Pittsburgh
6) NY Jets

Wild Card
#6 NY Jets over #3 Baltimore
#5 Pittsburgh over #4 KC

Semis
#6 NY Jets over #1 Indy
#2 New England over #5 Pittsburgh

AFC Championship
#2 New England over #6 New York Jets

SUPER BOWL
New England 31, Philly 25

And that's all I have to say about that.

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Every Friday, I will be picking five games with spreads. I do this to show you that I am the worst gambler in the world. My guess is that by the time the season is over, I will have a winning percentage of around 35%. Because of karma, I will never, ever pick or bet on an Eagles game, as they are of course my favorite team.

So here are this week's picks (home team in CAPS).

VIKINGS (-6) over Bucs
BILLS (-4.5) over Texans
CHARGERS (-4.5) over Cowboys
Bengals (-3.5) over BROWNS
Saints (+7) over PANTHERS

Though I'm pretty confident about these games now, I bet when the dusts settles I go one, maybe two, for five.

On that note, have a good weekend and enjoy the return of the NFL. Finally, something to do with my Sunday afternoons besides sitting around, eating bacon, egg and cheese bagels, and feeling lonely/sorry for myself. Thank the Lord - not a moment too soon.

[Have a good weekend]



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