Everything is wrong with me
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
the early years of internet dominance
I'm miserable today, so I'm going to take the easy way out.

About three years ago, my roommate Brian and I had an idea. We wanted to take our love for booze, cheesy '80's bands, and tasteless humor and combine it into something. So we got an idea.

We decided to start a website about us, Jason Mulgrew and Brian Powers, the greatest musical duo of the 1980's. It would be somewhat autobiographical, but pushed 20 years back (i.e. we started making music in 1983, not 2003). But of course, the rest would be fiction, sort of like Spinal Tap meets Behind the Music but done by two drunks who have little talent and even less ambition.

There was initially a lot of excitement for the project, so I enlisted by buddy Griff to design the site (Site Guy Brendan and I were still in our falling out stage at this point). I wrote up some stories to put on there, and our old roommate Ben, who had just gotten a digital camera, was enlisted to take some pictures of Brian and I. Also joining the team was our friend Brendan, who was to narrate the site in a Kris Kristofferson-type voice.

But as you might expect, it went nowhere quickly. The first setback was when Ben went bowling, got drunk, and while rolling fell in the middle of the lane, crushing the camera that was in his hip pocket. So no more pictures. Then Griff, who lived in Idaho at the time, became practically unreachable. So no more updates. Then Brendan, pissed by the waning enthusiasm, dropped out. No more narration. The good news is that by the time this all happened, Brian and I didn't care much and were more focused on how quickly we could get through a fifth of Absolut as part of our pre-game routine (answer: no idea - we were bombed).

This rudimentary, partially completed, completely unedited, and mostly unfunny website has been up for almost three years now, and Yahoo web hosting has been taking $11 per month out of my bank account to host it for the past 30 or so months. I just learned this recently when I actually looked at my bank statement, and, as you might expect, I was not happy about it.

So I checked the website recently to take a stroll down memory lane and I re-learned quickly what I knew back then: it stinks. It's weird, it's not funny, and seeing it in my current state (Lord of the Internet) makes me uncomfortable. It's so bad that it's really quite embarrassing.

Yet, I'm miserable and since it's cost me over $300, so I'll show it to you all. All I can say is that make sure the volume on your computer is turned up. It's ruined if you can't hear Brendan's spoken-word intro. And there are no curses, so it's safe for work.

Enjoy. And please, don't judge. I was young and confused then. And my hair was even worse than it is now. I look a lot different now, but Brian looks exactly the same.


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