Everything is wrong with me
Friday, June 24, 2005
 
a few quick things because I am lazy
Wednesday's post about the drinking tour by my buddy David and I got some legs and many of you suggested that I do a national drinking tour, stopping off in cities and getting drunk with y'all. Of course, this is probably the greatest idea I've ever heard in my life. Two little problems:

1) Yes, I am an internet quasi-celebrity and all, but I don't quite know if enough random people would come to meet me in a bar in say Denver or Portland. The solution? Start handing out leaflets for the site at your local city hall and email it to your local papers. Trust me, this will work.

2) Then there's the whole thing about me having a job. I don't know if I could say to my boss, "Yeah, listen, here's the deal. I need, like, a month off. I'm going to fly from city to city to get drunk with a bunch of people I don't know. I was just gonna quit to do this, but I realized that at some point during this trip I am definitely going to end up in the hospital, so I need the job for the health insurance. Cool?"

So we'll have to put this on the back-burner until a) I can drop the "quasi" or b) I get fired. I think "b" will come first, but let's not think about that right now, as I'm going to spend $300 on booze this weekend.

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Last night, I got a lil' high and spent the evening dividing my time between write back to your emails and watching the Spurs-Pistons game. Really boring game. I think it's time that I cut off my association with the NBA, but that's not the point here.The point is that while watching the Spurs and their fans celebrate, I almost cried. Sure, I was on drugs, and sure, I wasn't wearing pants, but more importantly, I NEED to see a Philly team win a championship - soon. I know I beat this to death last January and February when the Eagles were in the playoffs, but I can say that if the Eagles were to win the Super Bowl, it would be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. If the Phillies, Sixers, or Flyers won, it might be the third best thing to ever happen to me (and no, I don't know what the first two are, so leave me alone). That's all. Just worth mentioning. Nothing funny about it. I'm just really sad.

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All my bitching and moaning Tuesday about not being interviewed is starting to pay off. Check out this interview I did with Gelf and marvel at my awesome fucking moustache. Sure, I look bald, but at least I don't look fat. And depending upon your computer's resolution you may be able to see the dark circles under my eyes, so let it be a lesson: stay away from drugs.

(I sent the interview link to some friends last night and my buddy Jeremy wrote back: "Oh geez. Is there any way you can get that picture changed? You look like a beastiality-lovin’ meth fueled child molestor trucker from the 70s." It's the nicest thing he's ever said to me.)

(And really, all the guys out there should work on bringing the moustache back, just so these three men can be vindicated.)

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This is a music video of David Hasselhoff doing a cover of "Hooked On A Feeling". It might take a little while to get up and running, but I promise you it's worth it.

I don't have a joke for this. I can't understand what grown, rational man would watch the final cut of this in the editing room and say, "You know? This looks great. Let's go with it."

Favorite moments:1) Flying with the birds
2) Putting the salmon in his mouth
3) Jumping with the natives

I mean, wow.

(thanks to my buddy Kyle for the link)

(and have a good weekend everyone)



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