Everything is wrong with me
Monday, December 06, 2004
and while we're at it...
Two short notes:

1) Bob Dylan is on another level.

Good lord. That interview with "60 Minutes" last night was...intense. For a man who's not comfortable the mantle of genius, he sure goes about trying to shed it the wrong way.

Ed Bradley: "I read that you wrote 'The Times They Are A-Changin'' in ten minutes...is that true?"
Bob Dylan: [five seconds of intense silence]: "Probably."
Bradley: "You're not sure?"
Dylan: [another five seconds of intense silence] "No."

So, you don't remember writing one of the most important songs of all-time? I can remember what I had for dessert on March 12, 1996, and you can't remember writing "The Times They Are A-Changin"? WTF?

When Bradley brings up Dylan's importance as the voice of a generation:

Dylan: "My stuff were songs, you know? They weren't sermons. If you examine the songs, I don't believe you're gonna find anything in there that says that I'm a spokesman for anybody or anything really."
Bradley: "But they saw it."
Dylan: "They must not have heard the songs."
Bradley: "It's ironic, that the way that people viewed you was just the polar opposite of the way you viewed yourself."
Dylan: "Isn't that something."

Later, when asked by Bradley why he still performs, Dylan said, "It goes back to that destiny thing. I mean, I made a bargain with it, you know, long time ago. And I'm holding up my end" inferring that he made a deal with god (or God or G-d or whatever Dylan's flavor of the week is) so that he could be "Bob Dylan."

Intense indeed.

Bob, if you don't want people to think you're a genius and a prophet, give TV interviews more than once every 19 years. Also, when being interviewed, don't speak so slowly and intensely, so intensely that it seems that you're operating on another plane from the rest of us.

If you want people to stop thinking you're a genius, start playing covers of Britney Spears songs. Tell everyone how much you love hot dogs. Use the word "crap" in every sentence. When you eat, smear shit all over your face. This is how you get people to think you're an idiot. Trust me - it's worked for me for the past 25 years.


If the Philadelphia Eagles don't make it to the Super Bowl, I'm not going to make it out alive. I can not stress how serious I am about this. There has been much heartbreak in the past, but after manhandling arguably the second best team in the conference yesterday, the Eagles look better than ever.

You know what? I have to stop writing about this, because I don't want to be responsible for any sort of jinxing. But hear me now - it will be very bad news if the Eagles don't at least make it to the Super Bowl.

(Ok, seriously, I'm stopping talking about this right now. This post is over. Done. See you later.)

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