Everything is wrong with me
Friday, July 02, 2004
After some serious consultations with my friends, we have decided that if we ever get girlfriends again, we are going to cheat on them constantly. Like, all the time. Because apparently women really like that.

And no, we're not bitter. It's just that we've all realized over the last few weeks/months that there is a definite realtionship between how badly a girl is treated and how much said girl falls in love with dickhead boyfriend.

My personal plan is to get a girlfriend and:

1) Get an STD from a hooker;
2) Give the girlfriend the STD;
3) Get in fistfight with girlfriend's dad;
4) Purposely poison girlfriend's pet(s);
5) Murder the girlfriend's brother with my car;
6) Steal all of girlfriend's pants;
7) Get major drug addiction funded secretly by girlfriend's cash that she leaves laying around or in her purse.

That's my two cents. More on this later.

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