Everything is wrong with me
Monday, June 28, 2004
 
oh those crazy illegal aliens!
I'm not an expert on immigration, but if you've recently been deported and you've returned to the US illegally, you probably don't want to hold a baby hostage, create a big police stand-off, then stab the baby and have the police shoot you with beanbags and bullets.

Instead, you might want to try to get a dishwashing job at the local Appleby's or try working at the neighborhood car wash.

It's just that I don't see what good can come of the whole "baby hostage" thing if you're trying to keep the fact that you're in the country illegally on the down low, especially when you look like the scariest person on earth.

So to recapitulate: if you want to stay in the country illegally, DON'T take a baby hostage. DO get a job as a busboy at Red Lobster.

This is not very difficult people.

[And yes, I know I'm going to hell. But according to my Catholic faith, I'm going to hell anyway for missing Church for the past 8 years and getting a couple of beejers out of wedlock, so I might as well go out with a bang and hope to get some sort of title (Baron? Duke?) whilst in hell.]



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