Everything is wrong with me
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Spanky the Clown ("Hey kiddies, I have some balloons and skittles in my car for you!")
My buddy John sent me the following email:

If you told me this was really you, I think I would believe it.


Three things:

1) The clown's name is "Spanky". You couldn't write this stuff.

2) How dumb do you have to be to sign up for a child pornography website? How dumb do you have to be to use your credit card to do so? Apparently, Spanky dumb. Sure, critics of mine will point out that while in Munich I used my credit card at a brothel to pay for the services of a busty young woman named Anka, but in my defense a) it's another country - anything goes; 2) hookers are much less worse than kiddie porn, and everyone knows that; and c) I was very, very loaded and very, very lonely, which is always a bad combination.

3) I also love FBI agent's comment at the end: "Behind the clown nose, however, this man appears to have been supporting an industry that trades in the exploitation of children." Again, you couldn't write this stuff.

Sure, it's terrible and all that he's a pedophile, but that's some pretty funny shit right there.

And yes, I did go to therapy today.

And no, I didn't find it helpful.

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