Everything is wrong with me
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
I want to confirm what I have learned from unnamed sources: Phish has broken up.

On their official website, there's a link dated 5/25/04 titled "An Announcement from Trey", which reads:

Last Friday night, I got together with Mike, Page and Fish to talk openly about the strong feelings I've been having that Phish has run its course and that we should end it now while it's still on a high note. Once we started talking, it quickly became apparent that the other guys' feelings, while not all the same as mine, were similar in many ways -- most importantly, that we all love and respect Phish and the Phish audience far too much to stand by and allow it to drag on beyond the point of vibrancy and health. We don't want to become caricatures of ourselves, or worse yet, a nostalgia act. By the end of the meeting, we realized that after almost twenty-one years together we were faced with the opportunity to graciously step away in unison, as a group, united in our friendship and our feelings of gratitude.

So Coventry will be the final Phish show. We are proud and thrilled that it will be in our home state of Vermont. We're also excited for the June and August shows, our last tour together. For the sake of clarity, I should say that this is not like the hiatus, which was our last attempt to revitalize ourselves. We're done. It's been an amazing and incredible journey. We thank you all for the love and support that you've shown us.

-- Trey Anastasio
I thought that this was a mistake, or a prank, because it's totally out of the blue. But I used my major industry clout (I do have this awesome website), spoke to some people "in the know", and it is 100% true: Phish is done.

Let's have a moment of silence for stoners everywhere, who are now faced with any number of scary possibilities, including:

- having to stop dancing all weird-like;
- getting a job;
- putting down the bong for just one fucking second;
- bathing;
- no longer hurting their conservative parents with their neo-hippie lifestyle;
- losing customers for their homemade veggie burritos; and
- having to find a whole new band to dedicate and validate their existence and drug use.

All kidding aside, Phish is (was?) a pretty fucking sweet band. On a personal note, I'd like to say thanks to Trey, Mike, Page and Fish for some sweet music, and making it totally ok for me to "accidentally" touch a girl's boobie in Hampton, VA on 1/2/03 because I was "really, really high."

Thanks guys, and may god bless you, your families, and your pets.

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