Everything is wrong with me
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
 
my mom
My mom is pretty hilarious, but it's because she completely doesn't get my and my brother's humor. As far as she knows, we're both successful, well-adjusted young adults, when in reality, well, pick any post.

As I mentioned yesterday, I am thinking of getting a dog for Christmas. My grandmother currently has a Yorkshire Terrier, named Stitch, and I love this dog more than anything in the world. She got the dog as a puppy from my uncle, who has two of them, and he's considering having another litter this Christmas, so I'd get one of those puppies.

I went on-line, and found a picture of a Yorkshire Terrier, and it looked nothing like Stitch, because Stitch has very short hair, so he looks a lot less, well, gay.

Below is an actual verbatim email exchange I had with my mom yesterday (Megan is my sister). You can see how a simple conversation about a dog turns into me using on-line dating services. As you read it, keep in mind that this is the woman who two months ago suggested that I try out to be the next "Bachelor" and even went so far as to ask me if she wanted me to have her "call ABC" and recommend me.

Start from the bottom.


-----Original Message-----
From: Mom
Sent: Monday, May 10, 2004 12:33 PM
To: Mulgrew, Jason
Subject: RE:


Good, I'm glad. Maybe a COOL dog would
be good practice for a kid.
Mom


-----Original Message-----
From: Mulgrew, Jason
Sent: Monday, May 10, 2004 12:07 PM
To: Mom
Subject: RE:


I don't need to look on the websites - I'm just kidding about the kid (jesus). Believe me, I'm fine.

I just want a dog because they're cool, that's all. I don't need a dog to attract chicks.


-----Original Message-----
From: Mom
Sent: Monday, May 10, 2004 12:00 PM
To: Mulgrew, Jason
Subject: RE:


Well, I'm sure you won't have any problems
finding somebody, with your looks and personality.
Look on the web sites.
Mom


-----Original Message-----
From: Mulgrew, Jason
Sent: Monday, May 10, 2004 11:46 AM
To: Mom
Subject: RE:


I have a lot of love to give, and I think the time is right in my life for a dog. I really want a kid, but I can't find anyone to help me with that.

And I don't care if people think I am gay, I just love animals.


-----Original Message-----
From: Mom
Sent: Monday, May 10, 2004 11:41 AM
To: Mulgrew, Jason
Subject: RE:


Maybe, people might think you're a little gay.
I personally think you should seriously think
about it and take Stitch for a weekend, visit
the vet, check out the prices. Megan said
you're probably getting a dog so you could
attract chicks. I said I don't think so - what's
the real reason?
Mom


-----Original Message-----
From: Mulgrew, Jason
Sent: Monday, May 10, 2004 11:35 AM
To: Mom
Subject: RE:


Maybe I should get a different dog then...


-----Original Message-----
From: Mom
Sent: Monday, May 10, 2004 11:32 AM
To: Mulgrew, Jason
Subject: RE:


Look at the face. This is Stitch, without
all the hair.


-----Original Message-----
From: Mulgrew, Jason
Sent: Monday, May 10, 2004 11:25 AM
To: Mom
Subject:

this is a Yorkshire Terrier:

http://www.akc.org/breeds/recbreeds/york.cfm



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