Everything is wrong with me
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Ya tana Russki ("more Russian")
My family is so happy that I'm taking Russian (notice that I used the word taking, as in "paying for and attending the class", as opposed to learning, as in "getting a fucking return on the goddamn $600 I spent on the stupid class"). And, as I mentioned previously, I really, really suck at it, but I don't have the heart to tell them that. Last night I was on the phone with my mom after my Russian class and it came up, and she asked me how to say, "How are you?" in Russian. Of course, I don't know how to say this in Russian, since I spend the entire class sweating and scribbling in my notebook, trying to look busy so that the teacher will not call on me.

But rather than tell her that, I just made up some gibberish: "Um, that's sprasheemaya hatoi." I was hoping that it would end there, but she was delighted, and asked, "Well, how do you say 'Good morning'"? Again, no idea, so again: "That's dashalichtna."

She relented finally, but then my little sister got on the phone and really started quizzing me, asking me lots and lots of pointless phrases. So , fyi, if anyone talks to my sister (though I don't know why you would, you bastards), Ya atduchal veemoi is "I love you", Ya vyesnoi vcyhera magda is "I don't like to go to school", Nalaga chyetal means "shut up", and Oochmyer is "shit."

Thank you for your cooperation in this. I owe you one.

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