Everything is wrong with me
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Stupid cousin Julia
My dad is one of ten children. My mom is one of six. When my dad's grandmother died, she had sixty-five grandchildren. To put that into perspective, that's one grandchild's birthday every five days. This is what happens when you are Irish Catholic.

I have a ton of cousins, probably thirty to forty, and I can't name them all (I got a lot of my own stuff going on, so I can't be expected to remember such things).

This past Thanksgiving, I was at my grandparents (my dad's parents). We were all sitting around talking, the discussion turned to my cousin Jacqui and I, the two oldest of the Mulgrew clan (my cousins range in age from 25 to 3, but seven of us are 19 or older). Somehow, a wager was brought up: all of us (grandparents, aunts and uncles, grandkids) would pick one of the grandkids who we thought would be the first to either: a) get married or b) make a baby. It was $50 to get in, winner take all.

I think one of the eighteen or so relatives picked me. I'm not sure if this is a good thing, because though I won't be getting the whole "When are you going to find a girl and settle down?" thing, another part of me was like, "What the fuck? You don't think I'm capable of finding someone to marry me, or at least knocking someone up? You know, I do spend a lot of money, so I have that going for me. Damn it."

I just got a call from my dad that my cousin Julia got married like a week ago. Julia was the wild card: she grew up in California, I think she lives in New York now, but I've only seen her once and couldn't pick her out of a line-up. So my cousins Ryan and Jimmy get the cash.

Now I'm thinking: what the hell was I thinking? That's....whatever 18 x $50 is! That's a lot of money! I couldn't have conspired with my brother on this? Nothing too serious, but I'm sure we could've probably convinced one of our friends to fill out some forms for $20!

Damn it. I have a lot of debt, because every time I go out to a bar and a girl starts talking to me I feel the need to throw up my credit card and buy drinks for everyone [more on this sometime later]. And this was a free couple of hundred bucks, and I blew it.

Stupid cousin Julia. At the very least I should have contacted her to see what her relationship status was. Damn it. Later $50.

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