Everything is wrong with me
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
"I'm your Huckleberry"
My roommate Brian told me this story when he got home last night:

"I got out of work early, and was walking around and I figured, 'Hey, maybe I'll go to Blockbuster and get a movie to watch tonight.' So I head on over to Blockbuster, pick up 'Lost in Translation' and take it up to the counter to check it out. After I give the woman my card, she looks at me funny and says, 'There appears to be some late fees on your account.' I say, 'That's fine' - even though I haven't rented from Blockbuster in forever, I mean, how much could it be - $5? 10? Wrong - $48. Forty-eight fucking dollars. I nearly shit myself. Turns out it was from a couple of movies I rented last year. Can't that cap that shit or something? I mean, $48 for late fees? It's not like I missed an alimony payment or child support or anything. I rented a fucking movie for $48. I could probably make my own movie for $48."

The funny thing is that Brian was too disgusted to watch "Lost in Translation" so we wound up watching "Tombstone", easily one of the greatest movies of all-time. Thus today I've spent most of the day trying to get Doc Holliday lines (complete with Southern drawl) in in my interactions with my co-workers. For example:

Mike: "Geez, Barker's really been busting my balls about getting him the first draft of that telecom pitch."
Me: "He's no daisy. He's no daisy at all."
Janice: "What does that mean?"
Me: "It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds."
Mike: "Why are you talking like that?"
Me: "I'm your huckleberry."
Janice: "What's a 'huckleberry?'"
Mike: "Uh, let's go Janice."
Janice: "And there's no smoking in the building."
Me: "That's a hell of a thing for you to say to me."

The things we do to pass the work day...good lord.

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