Everything is wrong with me
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
high tech dad
My dad called me last night because he had a technology question. He's interested in getting an all-in-one printer/fax machine/copier for his computer.

You should know these three things about my dad:

1) My dad is out of work (he got hurt at work). When he did work, he was a mechanic and longshoreman.
2) My dad has four tattoos.
3) My dad knows how to turn the computer on, but pretty much that's where his computer knowledge ends.

Actually, one time when he first got his computer (when I was in college), I had an IM conversation with him that was and still is the slowest IM conversation ever:

Dad (8:42:41pm): "Hey Jas - how's it going?"
Me (8:42:56pm): "Good - hey, the new computer's up and running."
Dad (8:53:11pm): "Yeah. It works pretty good. I like it."
Me (8:53:20pm): "Nice. How is everything else going?"
Dad (9:07:25pm): "Pretty good. Megan got her report card. She did good. First honors."
Me (9:07:33pm): "Good for her."
Dad (9:21:48pm): "Yeah."
Me (9:22:15 pm): "Well, I'm going to get going. Talk to you later."
Dad (10:08:33pm): "Later."

If someone said to me, "Quick, name the person who could least use an all-in-one printer/fax machine/copier", I would without hesitation say "my dad". Though I'm not that familiar with their cultures, I can still say without a shred of doubt that there are Amish people and Congolese villagers that would probably have more of a need for a printer/fax machine/copier than my dad.

So why does he want it? Because it's a gadget and it's on sale.

Dad, if you read this (which you won't), please just send me the $250 that you would spend on this machine. I promise I will put it to good use - $250 worth of pot. Thank you. Your oldest child, Jason.

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